Beginning of a new journey

The three of us are in the midst of preparing for a new journey - a new stage of our lives, that is.

Our daughter will be off at college in 47 days. We, her parents will be driving her down in 45 days. I am counting down the days. So is she.

Two weeks ago, our daughter received a letter from the college, stating that they are providing her - her own college email address, log in into the college blackboard so that she can begin enrolling for her classes. It hit me then - that it is official. She is now their student.

Yesterday I reserved our hotel room for our arrival at Asheville, North Carolina. We probably will do a stop over in Lexington, Kentucky on our way down. My husband has taken the entire week off, from August 14th through August 21st. While researching our journey on mapquest, looking the states we'll be traveling through -- it was another moment of realizing that it is official. She is going off to college.

My husband has decided that we should take a slow journey on our way back home, after helping our daughter move in on the 16th. We hope to have breakfast with her on August 17th, which is the beginning of college orientation week. Then it is time for us to depart. Time for our daughter to begin her journey as a freshman student in college.

On our way home, the current thought is to do a stop over in Nashville to visit family members and friends for a day and two. After Nashville, we'll stop in Louisville, Kentucky to visit a couple of sites, and then maybe end up in Cincinnati, Ohio for a night. It is my desire to visit the Cincinnati Art Museum and then we will head on home to Michigan. Maybe. I'd like to visit family members in the Cleveland area if it is possible.

This journey will be the beginning of the next stage in our lives as "empty nesters." It certainly came much, much sooner than we anticipated. I know I have my moments. I am certain that my husband is having his moments. I do know that our daughter is even experiencing moments of her own as well. I am not sure if one is struggling more than the other. We do say and share our thoughts -- little by little.

The thought of the slow drive back home . . . at first, struck anxiety in me. The realization that we'll be leaving our daughter behind -- it is not like a two week camp, knowing she will be home in 14 days. This is leaving her behind -- with hopes of being able to see and visit with her before Christmas comes. This is weeks and months now. My first thought was no, I want to rush home. Surround myself with familiarity of my home and my day to day activities. Then there is this thought of coming home, knowing that our daughter will not be home. I don't want to come home because her bedroom will be empty.

Perhaps a slow journey on the way home might be good for us.

"Wait on the Lord, be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart. Wait, I say on the Lord."

- Psalms 27:14

May peace be with you.

The day is coming

It is coming sooner. It is only three days away. An event that will alter the course of several people. Our daughter's high school graduation. 

She is our only child, so I get to go through this once. Kudos to those who have gone through this more than once.  I also can't say the word, "I" either. My husband will be going through his emotions, as well as her grandparents, Nana and Popa. 

I've been emotional as the day has slowly been coming closer and closer. Now it is just a few days away.  Tears come easily at certain trigger moments.  I am not sure what these tears are - I guess they could be the tears of pending absence, as well as tears of joy. 

The saying, "if you love something, set it free, if it comes back, it was and always will be yours." is on my fore front of thoughts these days as I mull the coming independence of our only child. She plans on attending college in the fall . . . in another state. 12 hours away by car. An airplane ride away. 

I pray that I (we) have laid a solid foundation for her.  I believe I have.  Now it is all up to her from this day forth (when she graduates). I can only pray and wish the best for her. 

Yes, I am both excited for her as well as fearful. But the time is coming - or the day is coming that I have to let her go.  Yes, even though right now I have provided freedoms that come with responsibilities.  She still lives in my home, under our rules.  Once she is off to college, those things . . . change. She no longer lives at my home. She becomes a visiting adult - college student. 

Nevertheless, she is beginning on the journey of young adulthood.  It is my prayer and wish that she will always call on me as a resource, as her source of strength, hope, and love.  Since I will always call on her for her - my wonderful daughter, a blessed gift, this young spirit who I want in my life. 

Peace be with you. 

Making peace with your hair

I had my haircut yesterday. Actually it is more of a trim. It is a short hair length, so it is just a matter of keeping it . . . short. Many thanks to the student at the beauty school for doing my hair. It looks good. 

I no longer color my hair since making the decision to let it go grey. I can't pinpoint the date. My eyebrows have been turning grey for the past two years. Some of my eyelashes are even grey.  When the beautician started to tell me that we needed to color my eyebrows in addition to my hair, I had to stop and think. 

What am I coloring my hair and eyebrows for? For whom?  I am not vain in terms of appearance. Don't get me wrong.  I do take the time with my appearance - to make sure I come across that I feel good about myself, with careful application of make-up, coordination of clothes and shoes. Adding jewelry to my ears, wrist, neck, and fingers. I enjoy putting perfume on.  

I think I still look good - my face is still somewhat youthful. My husband still desires me. My 17-year old thinks I'm a cool Mom. My peers, friends, and acquaintances don't really need me to have my hair colored.  They need me to be there for them as a friend and colleague.  

The fact that my hair on my head is greying should not affect how I feel about myself.  Yes, I am . . . getting older. It is life. Admittedly, this age thing bothers me more than my hair and eyebrow situation. But it is another topic for another day. Today it is about making peace with your hair. 

Yes, many women think the hair on top of their head is their crown jewel. I beg to differ - your jewel is who you are -- inside. Your jewel is your heart, your loves, your compassion and generosity. 

I apparently had made peace with my hair some time ago and it began with the decision not to color it.  I like the streaks of silver around the top, sides and back.  The grey on my eyebrow, I think, add interesting flair to my face. (you can see them when you stand closely to me -- if I will allow you to invade my space!) 

So, make peace with your hair today. May peace be with you. 

What kind of a wake are you leaving behind?

We sometimes talk of what we want to leave behind - in terms of a legacy.  I like to live in the now. Today. Not tomorrow. Not sometimes down the road in the future. How about today? 

When we wake up and go about our day -- what kind of lasting impression are you making today? I am often amazed how people seem to forget that they leave behind lasting impressions in their day to day activities.  Even if we're strangers in passing - we leave behind impressions.  However temporary.  Whether you intended to or not, you could have an impact on how another person feels about themselves or how they may approach the rest of the day.    

Think of a boat in the water. Think of the "wake" it leaves behind as it goes down the water.  That is you -- throughout the day. Is the wake you're leaving behind large tumultuous waves? Or are they soft, gentle waves?  

Our life on this green earthy ball is temporary.  You cannot predict tomorrow.  So, why are you pondering on what kind of a legacy you are going to leave behind when you die?  Think about now. What kind of a legacy are you leaving behind today, while you're alive? 

Rejoice! May peace be with you. 

May peace be with you today. 

The Scent of a Woman

My daughter said to me the other day, after she hugged me -- I smelled good. She also said, that my scent was only unique to me. Like Nana (my mother) has her own smell.  My daughter hugs quite a bit. She likes to be hugged and held. We do it quite a bit - on good days, and on bad days.

For her, what we smell like -- gives her memories of whatever special moments she draws on from our time together while growing up. 

"For the sense of smell, almost more than any other, has the power to recall memories, and it's a pity that we use it so little." (quote by Rachel Carson)

Now, was she referring to perfume?  I think not. I wasn't wearing any the other day. My daughter is convinced that everyone has their own unique body odor and it is recognized between child and parent.  As much as she is growing up and soon will be attending college in a different state, lately she's been reaching out and hugging us more often. She's also been waxing nostalgia -- often triggered by her sense of smell, touch, sounds, and sight. 

Scents do trigger memories-- mostly good. In my case, my husband, I think smells great all the time. I love his aftershave -- it is so clean and crisp. Nothing peppery or floral.  My mother (Nana) always smells like freshly cleaned laundry.  I love walking into a coffee shop because I love the smell of freshly ground coffee. What does it mean for me -- my many quiet interludes have been while enjoying a good cup of coffee.  Often it is when I am sitting out on a deck by the lake from that special place I usually journey to in the summer time. 

I love baking bread and how it makes my house smell. I can remember my great grandmother who baked quite a bit while I was a little child - I loved the smell of cooking. It meant to me that everything was alright despite how terrible the world was while growing up. 

So, when my daughter hugs me, she is drawing up strength from memories she has of me and of us together. I pray that she can carry that with her while she is going so far away in college.  I know it is going to require her to draw a lot from within her to make it on her own.  May the Good Lord God be with her and cover her with peace.  Today, I pray that everyone will hug with their loved ones  -- just a little bit longer today.  Draw up some memories. 

May peace be with you. 

Clear Horizon

 It is now 2009 - in seven months it will be 2010. Last post was 2007. So much has happened. Time has surely flown. Here I am  . . . 

I have a business blog where I discuss marketing and business topics. (www.cmarcomservices.com/blog)

I use social media to network (LinkedIn, Facebook, Twitter)

I am meeting wonderful people through networking, facilitated by Twitter and LinkedIn. 

I am diversifying in different areas of my life - trying to explore and try different crafts, concepts, skills, and thoughts. 

This is my personal blog and when I first started it - it was a bit hard to write from the personal front. I know it is because of certain characteristics I possess. I used to be a very prolific journal writer. Blogging is a public journal writing experience - sharing your own thoughts, experiences to the public domain in the world wide web.  It is hard -- for me to open up, show and reveal my faults, warts, fears, failures, and nightmares. But then again, this platform could be a place to share joy, good news, celebration, and dreams. 

Where am I at now? Lets say I am at crossroads. I feel this "state" is not something permanent, but it is something that I need to go through. 

1) my (our) only child is graduating from high school and is going to college in North Carolina. 

2) Looking at the fact that we are going to be empty nesters sooner than we thought. We've been married for 22 years now. 

3) my best friend moved away to another state several months ago. I lost my only confidante of the same sex. 

4) we've lost two pets this year 

5) Both my husband and I will be reaching birthday milestones this year. (5o and 45, respectively). 

Maybe by sharing this personal side, will resonate with other people. Let them know that they are not alone either.  Please do contact me and share with me where you're at.  I want to know that I am not alone either. I want to laugh, cry and rejoice with others as this stage of our lives. I don't know what to call it at this point. So, "crossroads" works for me. 

Here's part of the song that is playing in my head: Clear Horizon by Basia. 

"All you need is a clear horizon,

a clear horizon

all we wish is everyday,

hope and pray,

for all of us

a clear and quiet sky"

That is what I am waiting for  . . . a clear and quiet sky. Lately, its been turbulent. May peace be with you. 

Hermit Crabs

My nearly 16 year old daughter purchased a hermit crab this past summer with her babysitting money. Now, I am not crazy about this . . ."creature". But last night it got out of its cage. How, I will never know. But fortunately her bedroom door was closed. It crawled out and down about three feet to the floor, then crawled over about another three feet to her printer which as close to the flooor, and crawled in. My daughter spent the wee-hours in the morning attempting to get it out. The crab's constant . . . "gnawing" woke her up. What was it chewing on?!

My mind is just "boggled" at the possibility if her bedroom door had not been closed. We have four cats and one large standard poodle. I seriously don't think it would have . . . survived. I told her this morning to put some weight on top of its cage since I do not want a repeat of this escapade.

What is it with hermit crabs? I see them nearly all over in retail stores - their shells are painted too! Why are we painting their shells?

Remember the story book by Eric Carle? "A House for Hermit Crab"

How do some people do it?

I told myself that I would utilize this "tool" as a way to share and stay in touch. However, the biggest challenge is finding the time to get in front of the computer and sit to write. I am on the computer most of the day as part of my livelihood. So, when I return home, often I am doing other things and it is not computer related. So, I wonder, how do some people do it. ? I am going to have to try something different to be able to successfully incorporate this into my activities.